Oscar Mayhem

Inspired by an email from L, here are some very silly Oscar blog posts:

I keep a close watch on this clock of mine. I feel my eyelids closing all the time. I keep the volume down, that suits me fine. Because it's late, please let me whine.

Oscar nominations you didn't see:

Flightplan of the Penguins - Penguins design a double decker airplane to fly them to the Antarctic coast in search of food, but panic ensues as their young become trapped in the refrigerator in the first class galley bar.

War of the Penguins: Terrifying tale of Antarctic Penguins guiding massive icebergs into the world's major cities, causing widespread death and destruction.

A live blogger writes:

They're doing some sort of noir retrospective. Which is the one where Richard Widmark pushes the old woman in the wheelchair down a flight of stairs? I need to rent that one. Nothing like a good laugh.

Ann Althouse:

8:15. A nice "Daily Show" style piece with fake ads for actresses is followed by a flatfooted intro for the documentary awards. An unfortunate juxtaposition. Another Woman in Black: Charlize Theron. (All the women are in beige or black. Did some neutrality order go out?) What will win for feature documentary? Surely, it must be the penguins. Yes, it is. The accepters bring stuffed penguins up and one guy whistles "thank you in Penguin." Another guy makes some comment about tuxedos, "penguin suits." At least, they thought of ideas.

Daniel Frank/Captain Spaulding:

So Jon Stewart and the Daily Show gang are writing his monologue and Bruce Villanch and his folk are writing the celebrity banter. Yeah, that's not going to clash.

Defamer:

6:22pm: Charlize, almost on cue, shows up to announce documentary feature in what one of our party operatives refers to as a "Project Runway" dress. Are they kidding us? Santino would never put a bow that staggeringly huge on a frock.
Oh, and the March of the Penguins crew wins, making them look a little less ridiculous for bringing three-foot stuffed penguins to the ceremony. Cocky? Sure. But they won, bitches, so deal with it.

The Captain:

8:24 - Wow, March of the Penguins beat Enron and Murderball. That surprised me.