The Final Countdown

Here is a blog post that sums up the mood of the moment:

"Today is Monday the 13th. My lucky day, huh?"

"I suffered a loss this weekend. I’m not going to get into the details — have you noticed how this blog has become less and less personal lately? I know at least some of you have; I’ve been getting mail about it. I got an e-mail about it just last night from a reader named Sarah. I’m sorry, Sarah. There’s nothing I can do about it except apologize. This blog used to be my sanctuary, a place where I could be perfectly honest. But now too many people read it. Not too many in the absolute sense, as my readership has plummeted to levels so low they can only be detected with expensive equipment bought with tax-dollar-wasting National Science Foundation grants; but rather in the sense that too many people I know are reading it. There are too many little lies that need to be maintained — that I’m doing okay, that everything is fine, that I’m not teetering on the brink of a breakdown every single minute of the day. I can’t maintain the illusion with them and be honest with you when all too many of you are also among them."

I thought that was funny, in a teeth gritted, despairing kind of way.

It was written on Monday, the ten year anniversary of the massacre of 16 six year olds at play in the gym at a school in Dunblane, Scotland. I remember that day and the days after, the sick horror I felt that anyone could be driven so crazy by everything, including our awful winter weather, break into a gym and shoot little kids dead as they ran screaming from them.

That was before I knew anything about hijacking planes or wearing bombs in crowded places. The fact that one has so little empathy for innocent humans that whatever is bugging you that day, well, you're going to hit back a million times more hurtfully is a part of human nature - because humans undertake these acts.

Just because it's incomprehensible to me doesn't mean it isn't something to think about and figure out how to address. Why does the media ignore genocide like Darfur, taking place even as we speak. My theory - news has become visual now and there's no compelling footage from Darfur. Here's a chance for some brave cameraman to make his name, but he'd have to be a bit crazy too, good chance of ending up dead and unfeted.